Around the House
It is a typical Monday night for me these days. Sitting alone in front of the TV after a day of interviewing. I have been fighting writers block since I got laid off in July. I have had a rough go of it this last year. A relationship gone, lost a job, and still feeling like I am floating in a sea of crap. I haven't been writing like I should be, even though I have a half finished book waiting for my love and attention. Not to mention all the other projects I have started but have not had the attention to see grow.
There are three of us all single right now playing on all the gay apps. You have been floating on Scruff, Seb playing on Recon (a dirty leather boy app), and Chris on Grindr. We are all just looking for companionship in different ways. I want to be married but will enjoy myself till then, Seb just wants a husband despite actually having the occasional hook up since his boyfriend left him over email. Now there is Chris who is sleeping with everything that will sit still long enough for him to put his dick in them. It makes me wonder if all this technology has just ruined out ability to find a relationship that lasts.
Right now I am talking to a couple guys. You know the standard non-committal avoiding conversation and text guy who just as you are done calls or texts to ensure he still has your attention with some half assed excuse. Now I have meet this new guy on Scruff who is interesting. I don't know if I am just settling for him or if I really like him. He wants an open relationship which is very common on these apps. You meet guys who are in them, want them, or enjoy the benefits of guys that do them. How do you know if that is for you? Is it better to have an open relationship or find out that you man couldn't keep it in his pants so he cheated on you?
I look at Chris who claims to want love but doesn't even bother to learn the names of the guys he is sleeping with. He doesn't want an open relationship he like not having strings. No strings attached should be his name. I don't understand how that hipster want to be pulls it off. While yes he is my friend and room mate I do not get the look he is giving and getting the sex.
Now Seb the over the hill twink has found his leather daddy side and has been exploring it on the apps. Unfortunately, he hates himself for the play with out commitment. So he has the game of about half way through the activity his mind and heart turn off leaving him feeling more alone than ever.
Do the APPs help or hinder us? I don't know yet. Let's see how it happens to unfold. What do you think of the apps?
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