Monday, December 7, 2009

Cheating Whore

Around the House
Just get home from visit of Jerry. Husband refuse to go to visit, since nurse tell him he no bring drinks to rehab. I tell him, he drink daughter cough syrup so no need drinks. Jerry need help. Husband is so stupid, and I tell him so every day. So now I have to go visit cough syrup stealing Jerry for family therapy alone. I no need no therapy, but doctor say it help make better. I no know how it make it better.

My Thoughts
Daughter stayed home today with the sickness. She watch judge show where woman come to say her cheating whore boyfriend use credit card for Sexy Phone Time. Whore Boyfriend make $12,000 bill and now she go into foreclosure. She cry to judge that he ruin her life; he no ruin her life she ruin it by self. What, she no see phone bill and see that he call for Sexy Phone Time? It make me think; who fault is cheating? Is wife fault for no keeping husband happy, is whore's fault for cheating with husband, and is husband fault. So how we fix? You no fix cheater, so you take everything and leave him in street. Woman is too good and worth too much to keep cheating whore.

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Publishers Gone Wrong

Around the House
Thank you Mrs. Vladimir for allowing me to leave this posting on your blog! She wanted me to tell you that she is visiting Jerry at the Clinic to ensure that he is getting the proper treatment which to her means a good beating once a day. I didn't have the heart to tell her that he is having therapy and not beatings. What can you do? The great news is that I did get a chance to spend the afternoon talking to Raisa. She seems very excited about the events at Thanksgiving, because the family had to donate the goat to an animal shelter so that it could be properly taken care off.
My Thoughts
I have been thinking about the information circulating about Harlequin. Apparently their new imprint DellArte is charging authors for publishing services which for years has been against ethical business practices for Agents and Publishers. After reading the articles and seeing the stands made by SFWA and MWA, I must compliment them on taking a stand for author's rights. Publishing Houses, even during an economic downturn, should not be charging author's for their works. It would be like a TV show charging an Actor to appear instead of paying them. So it has brought be back to my opinion on how Publishing Houses could enter into agreements with new authors that would not be as large of a financial risk for the Publishing House. There are three things a Publisher must do 1. Pay the Author for their work, 2. Offer the work to the Retailers, and 3. Give the author a chance at turning their work into a commercial success. The way I believe publishing houses can do this is through Print on Demand and E-Books. Print on Demand is when the publisher only prints the number of books purchased. It can be as few as one book at a time or as many as the publisher needs. With the advances in modern technology kiosk machines that do this are currently available in some European Book stores which allow for a cost effective and professional product to be produced therefore eliminate the large and costly book productions that are currently the industry standard.
By moving to this model it would allow publishers to move away from offering advances to first time or new authors, but would also allow for a retailer to carry the product and receive the product quickly with out the need for mass production therefore saving the publisher money. Additionally, with the great success of internet sales and E-book sales on Amazon and Barnes and Noble publishers wouldn't have to worry about unsold book returns because the books would be ordered before shipping. Seeing this, Authors can still be paid royalties for their book sales, retailers can still get books from up and coming authors, and publishers do not have to worry about not being able to recoup expenses. This also benefits the reader by allowing for a reduction in book prices, increased availability of books (no out of publication), and a wider variety of material than the market is currently providing. Hopefully Harlequin will be smart enough to move to a model like this and away from charging its authors for publication.

D.J. Cappella

Monday, November 30, 2009

Codeine Coated Holiday

Around the House
I is back. Author Boy did good job while I dealt with husband mess. Internet come back on Saturday which is good, but Husband spent all day on computer finding Turkey Recipe. I tell him that turkey I make is good, but he say he want to use fryer daughter buy for Yule last year. I made second turkey.

My Thoughts
This year for holiday we have Jerry, my husband stupid brother, Husband, Daughter, and Son; is small for holiday. Unfortunately, daughter sick early in week so Doctor give her syrup with Codeine. Now is where problem start. Jerry come to my house and drink daughter Codeine Syrup. I wonder why he spend so much time in bathroom. He has problem with prescription drug. I forgot to hide in lock box since Daughter still take syrup. I tell him I send him to Dr. Phil, daughter like Dr. Phil. I know understand it all, but is interesting. So Jerry is so high, he walk into backyard and decide to play "Kick the Can" with turkey fryer. Well my pretty lawn is trashed, and he is in hospital. Serve him right for stealing daughter syrup and ruining my holiday. I make husband tell hospital what Jerry do. So now he have mandatory 30 day detox. It make smile.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Book Review: Dreams Made Flesh

Around the House
Well I got back into town from a work trip last night to find several messages from Mrs. Vladimir.  During the weekend Mr. Vladimir had Cousin Jerry come over to help with setting up the new home office.  The main part of the message I got was Mrs. Vladimir screaming at someone, "NO WEB IN BOX?  How I do Blog?  What you mean no web in box!"  So, they have lost their internet connection, and you will have me this week or until the Internet Company can get out to fix the situation.  We all know how long that can take, especially since during the last visit Mr. Vladimir yelled at him for being late.  I hope you all enjoy the book reviews I'll be blogging about.

D.J. Cappella

My Thoughts
Dream's Made Flesh is the follow-up novel to the Black Jewels Trilogy by Anne Bishop.  It is a fantastic completion of short stories that fill in the gaps of your favorite characters.  This novel can be read in tandem with the trilogy or to follow-up after the joys run through the dark passion of the blood.  The great part of this novel is that the short story Kaleer's Heart closes up the trilogy by telling the aftermath story of Janelle, Damon, and the SaDiablo Family.  As a stand alone novel I feel it lacks the thrill and pull of the trilogy, but as a companion to the trilogy this completion enhances the fantastic twists of the Realms of Blood.

Rating is a 8 out of 10
Buy the Book at http://www.outandaboutadventures.com/Book_Recommendations.html

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Book Review: The Black Jewels Trilogy

Around the House
Katrina Rue came by for coffee this afternoon, well actually she had Diet Coke and I had tea. We get together once or twice a week to discuss our projects, go shopping, or have dinner/lunch. To see her new shopping blog visit http://myownonehundred.blogspot.com/ or to learn more about her visit http://katrinarue.blogspot.com/. Several months ago she recommended The Black Jewels Trilogy to me. Well as you can see by my webpage I fell in love with the series, but more of that below. www.outandaboutadventures.com/djcappella.html. As always, when she comes to visit we stop by Mrs. Vladimir to see how she is doing. We didn't actually get in the house today because Mrs. Vladimir was screaming at Mr. Vladimir about the Demon Gold again. So we figured it would be better to let them sort out their issues with out and audience.

D.J.  Cappella

My Thoughts

A Review of The Black Jewels Trilogy by Anne Bishop
The Black Jewels Trilogy combines magic, love, and the dark side of humanity in a way that tantalizes the tongue like the sweetest chocolate covered cherry gossip that you just can't put down. Anne Bishop handles a world as rich and complex as our own like she has walked the streets of Dharo, run through the fields of Scelt, or shopped in a Shalador Village with all the friends we meet as the tangled web of this story is cast around us. You will find yourself up late following the lives of the Blood forgoing sleep for this sensual treat. This fantastic tale of fantasy, romance, and dark desires of humanity is highly recommended read.

Rating is a 9 out of 10
Buy the Book at http://www.outandaboutadventures.com/Book_Recommendations.html

Monday, November 9, 2009

Book Review: Jessica's Guide to Dating on the Darkside

Around the House
Hey All, Mrs. Vladimir is going to be out for the week getting the house ready for Thanksgiving.  She had tea with me yesterday to tell me about what Mr. Vladimir did to the house.  Appearently, while getting ready for Halloween he sprayed gray silly string on the walls trying to make webs for his large scale plastic spiders.  Unfortunately, Mr. Special Needs ruined the paint job in the hallway with the 20 foot foyer.  Let's just say she is very crabby while overseeing the repaint.  From, what she is saying Mr. Vladimir is not allowed out of his basement office.  So, I will be your guest blogger for the week while she has the house on lock down.

D.J. Cappella

My Thoughts
A Review of Jessica's Guide to Dating on the Darkside by Beth Fantaskey
A dark twisted tale of finding love on the darkside that will delight the most hardened fantasy reader and engage the most giddy teen.  This story brings together vampires, love, and family in a way that allows for a believeable young adult fantasy story a step above The Twilight Saga and in line the Sookie Stackhouse Series.  In the blink of an eye Jessica finds she has an arranged marriage to vampire, is adopted from Romania (and you see why Mrs. Vladimir loved this book), and upon her first bite will become the Vampire Princess.  With nothing but the Guide Book from to lead her into the new life she doesn't want; Jessica must find out who she really is.  I would highly recommend enjoying Jessica's battle to be an All-American Girl in a Vampire World.

Rating is an 8 out of 10
Buy the Book at http://www.outandaboutadventures.com/Book_Recommendations.html

Saturday, November 7, 2009

The Devil in Facebook.

Around the House

Daughter bring home cat today. I tell her no pet in house. We keep pet in backyard like we do with husband pet. No in my house. I keep clean house and no need pet making mess. Then she tell me that is neighbor boy cat. I like neighbor boy, he need mothering. He go on vacation to island with sister to visit mother. His mother whore. So daughter babysit pet. I guess is okay since cat go back soon. Also, reminder that contest has started. I have many email about contest. Is all exciting to see people love blog.
My Thoughts
Daughter and Author Boy make me go on Facebook. I no understand why we need Facebook. If I want to know bout neighbor, I call neighbor. Is like being Peeping Tom when neighbor no know that you know what they do. Is no right! So I decide I no need Facebook. I just tell Author Boy to post update for me. Well daughter tell me about what she call Facebook drama. I ask her what is this drama? She tell me neighbor boy sister has new boyfriend. He is no good. So all people tell her no date him. I say Facebook is devil. Only person who should be telling daughter or neighbor boy sister who to date is mother. After all mother evaluate who is good for daughter and how many goat she can get for her. Not that neighbor boy sister is worth many goat.

Friday, November 6, 2009

Why Divorce When You make Pie

Around the House
Oh, week no good.  Husband no have pig flu.  So I tell him.  He make go emergency room again, second day in row, just get home about twenty minute ago.  I tell him doctor is no crazy, but husband stupid, is so stupid.  Now he lay on couch watch TV.  He complain about plastic on couch, but I tell him, I buy nice couch and we keep dat way.   I is tired, but Author Boy left message on phone to remind to do blog tonight, so I blog.  Sorry I miss yesterday.

Son send letter.  I no know how post man get letter in computer box, but letter show up.  Mind you, I no know why he just don't stick letter in box, cause now I have to figure out how to us printer so I have letter for scrap book.  I tell Husband about letter; now all Husband do is talk about how son retard, cause he no vitch.  Husband scream now he from the Isle of Godamre (as in Son is a "God Damn Re (retard)").  I miss son, I wish he home.  I send him goat cookies.  Oh remember - contest start Friday.

My Thoughts
Daughter watch Dr. Phil today while we sit in hospital. Is about man who cheat on wife. Dr. Phil say they no ready for divorce, I say is bullshit. If husband ever cheat on me I hit with fry pan, take all monies, and change lock. He can sleep in street. So I ask Daughter why she stay. She tell me she still love him, but no trust. I say since she give baby, no have to give goat back, so leave. I no understand American woman. In my country if husband do bad thing wife get mad, get even, and make him pay. Most woman even stay married to man so he pay over and over again. I say is good idea. I always say that if you no believe in divorce, like me, you make him poison berry pie. He no stick is parts in other women when dead. Then you is free to keep all money and get new husband. I should have TV show. I give better advice than Phil.

Monday, November 2, 2009

The No Goat Contest

Around the House
Husband sick, serve him right for eating two bag of candy.  Only 13 tick-o-teaters come to house Halloween and husband insist we buy 9 bag of candy.  Stupid Husband!   So while I spend two day getting web of wall he sit on behind eating candy.  So now he say he sick with pig flu.  I cook one pork roast and now he blame stupidity on my cooking.  I tell him, I eat roast I fine, so he no get pig flu from dinner.  I tell him is so, but no he blame me.  So now, he get box of flour for dinner, and I tell him make own biscutts.  Pig flu!  How I get such stupid husband.  His mother is how!  Put hex on Mom to give me for one goat and not six I worth.

My thoughts
Okay, so November special month in Vladimir House.  Is my birthday.  Author Boy say I do contest for book he like, so people will come and give me love on blog.  I say okay.  I always like contest.  Supermarket do one every month.  Mind you I no win, but enter anyway.  So I figure good karma to give back, maybe I win now. Would be nice to get free grocery, or TV they give way last month.  Anyway I  tell him is good idea and not stupid like husband who wants to sell talking donkey on blog.  So, sound like good plan.  So here is contest that Author Boy write for me.

Contest Information
Win Jessica's Guide to Dating on the Darkside.  A top recommendation on D.J. Cappella's website under favorite reads.  Contest opens on Friday November 6, 2009 at 12 a.m. central standard time and closes at 12 a.m. November 30, 2009.  To enter just post a comment on djcappella.blogspot.com that relates to the blog.  Each comment will recieve one entry into the randon draw.  Individuals may enter as many times as they like, but each comment must be unique and relate to the blog entry posted to.  Individuals will be notified on December 10, 2009 via a blog entry.  Winning individual will need to contact D.J. Cappella with contact information for shipping.

Friday, October 30, 2009

Halloween Horrors

Around the House
Stupid Husband turn house into mess.  I no work eight hour a day clean house to have Husband put web all over living room.  You know how hard to get web off nine foot ceiling?  No, I no think so.  I tell him is no right; you know what he say, he say is festive.  Festive I tell you!  It no help that this Halloween, which no happen in home village, is some vitch holiday.  I no understand all vitch custom.  Why do we have to have altar in foyer?  He put big table, large knives, and bottle of blood.  What we need blood for?  He say for ritual at midnight tomorrow.  I tell he crazy and stupid.  I tell him, you lost magic - no need in house.  But no, he just say he get magic, so need to practice. Stupid Vitch Husband.

My Thoughts
I get letter from city today, bout Tick-o-Teeters.  Daughter tell me they come by for treats until dusk.  Why they need six hour to beg for treat?  I keep clean house so no better be bring ticks to my house.  Anyway, I always wonder why we teach children to beg for treat?  Is that no like teaching be homeless?  When Daughter and Retard Son was little, we party for neighborhood kids.  I say safe to have kids in house and no beg for treat.  They dress up, I make snacks, lots yummy nibbles, and they party.  No worry bout poison in treats, courses many day I think bout giving husband poison treat, no bad child touching, is all safe and fun.  So, I say, keep babies in house with party or local place and no teach to beg like vagrant.  Get neighborhood involved - be community friendly.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Boy on Boy Rights

Around the House
I burn hand on god damn demon gold today.  I make lunch for author boy, D.J. Cappella.  He tell me "my life is so interesting" that I need to get on this box with web inside to write blog.   Mind you I no know where they fit web and how it get in wall; I keep clean house I tell you.  So now I sit an write.  Course I tell him I not supposed to talk of vitch things, but he say that people think it "Fantasy," so is okay.  I tell him he stupid cause Husband got in trouble for not following the rules.  He is kinda stupid too, so when the the vitch police come cause I tell secrets; I send them to author boy house.  Anyway, since we talk in kitchen where demon gold ruin my counter I burn hand.  Is what I get for making author boy lunch.

My Thoughts
So daughter read paper that is in box with web and tell that gay get protected by government.  I say is good; this country is supposed to be land of opportunity.  So we is all same; all get same opportunity, and should be treated same.  Now daughter also tell me that not all gay can get married.  I no understand this.  Why gay no allowed to get married when they make a most pretty and expensive wedding.  Would be good for is economy since gay have no baby can spend more on wedding, it give more job, make country better.  So why not?

My neighbor give wedding for daughter and hire gay to make.  Wedding so big and pretty she needed second mortgage on house.  Most pretty wedding I ever go to, and the food was good for me no cooking.  I get his card for when I get daughter married; make husband pay out nose since I have demon gold on counter.  Of course is one confuse bout gay marriage; who get the goat?  If wife family get many goat for good wife, which gay is wife and which gay is husband?  I no know and daughter is no good at explaining.  Well, I must go.  I have roast lamb in oven.